送交者: eng 于 2007-02-12, 07:11:15:
第一段:
“first trial judgement”总觉得有点怪怪的。可以考虑以下译法:
Recently, a decision was made by Jianghan District Court on the defamation case of ....
“a.k.a. Fang Zhou-zi”似乎应该出现在方的名字第一次出现的时候比较好。
“truth”似应为“facts”。
“pay attention to”似乎不如“be concerned about”。
“in which”似乎不好。整个句子变成了“court intervened ... in a lawsuit”,建议用“where”或“by which”。
原文中“司法机构介入学术造假”本身有歧义。如果是“司法机构介入学术打假”就更好。整句话可以参考以下译法:
Many Chinese intellectuals all over the world have peen concerned about this lawsuit, where a court actually intervened the exposure of academic misconducts.
“who is supposed to be protected by law.”感觉还是没有译出“本应该受到保护而其实反成了受害者”的意思,时态也不太对。可以参考以下译法:
who should have been protected by the law (注意这里一定要有the)
或
who became a victim of the law by which he was supposed to be protected.
第二段:
“used his pen-name to publish”感觉着重点不太对。建议改为“published ... with pen-name ...”。
“after ... just announced”应该为“just after ... announced”
“candidates’ names”应该注意那个单引号不能用中文的。感觉上用“list of candidates”比较好。
“exaggerating”感觉不够强。建议用“forging”。
中文中的“等”在正式文件中不是“etc”的意思,而是表示列举完了。可以略过不译。
最后一句的“because”用的奇怪。建议去掉。比如:
Fang lost the legal battle at the first trial, and the court ordered...
最后一点:如果要称方为Dr. Fang,则前后最好一致,且对肖也应称Dr. Xiao。人好歹也号称是个MD。